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This song about Barry Bonds is the greatest song in the world

Mar 10, 2014; Scottsdale, AZ, USA; San Francisco Giants former outfielder Barry Bonds in the dugout during the game against the Chicago Cubs at Scottsdale Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Probably not hyperbole.

And then everything was different.

On Monday morning, Baseball Prospectus editor Sam Miller alerted me to the existence of Dan Bern, a folky/country singer of some note. Specifically, Miller told me about a song that Bern wrote about Game 6 of the 2002 World Series. I was going to post it here and ruin your day. Then he told me that Bern wrote and recorded the greatest song in the world.

Doubleheader by Dan Bern

The full lyrics:

This is the year-by-year home run totals of the great Barry Bonds
This is the year-by-year home run totals of the great Barry Bonds
In 1986, he hit 16 home runs
Then 25, 24, 19, 33
25, 34, 46, 37, 33, 42, 40
37, 34 and 49
73, 46, 45, 45,
5, 26, 28

This is the year-by-year home run totals of the great Barry Bonds
This is the year-by-year home run totals of the great Barry Bonds
He won the MVP in 1990, 1992 and ’93
And ’01 and ’02 and ’03 and ’04

This is the year-by-year home run totals of the great Barry Bonds
This is the year-by-year home run totals of the great Barry Bonds
In 1986, he hit 16 home runs
Then 25, 24, 19, 33
25, 34, 46, 37, 33, 42, 40
37, 34 and 49
73, 46, 45, 45,
5, 26, 28

This is the year-by-year home run totals of the great Barry Bonds
This is the year-by-year home run totals of the great Barry Bonds

Bob Dylan has written exactly zero songs about the year-by-year home run totals of the great Barry Bonds. That is one overrated songwriter. The material was right there the whole time.

You can buy this song for $1 here. I suggest you buy it for $1. Bonds is his muse, apparently, as he is for us all.

Next step: Getting the Giants to play this after “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” during the seventh-inning stretch.

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